The standard sentence for aggravated assault with a weapon in Florida is up to 5 years in prison along with a $10,000 fine.
Luckily, Elin Nordegen was able to plea bargain for 2 years in a 30 room mansion along with $60,000,000 in spending money.
While donations of used cars have decreased significantly following the national cash for clunkers program, Womens Sheleters across the country are experiencing a sudden change in needs, with an extraordinary increase of demand for used golf clubs.
When asked what drove her to chase her husband out of the house at 2:30 AM swinging a golf club at his head, causing him to crash headlong into a tree, and leaving him bleeding and unconscious on the curb, Elin Nordegren's answer was surprisingly simple.
"I didn't want to become a golf widow!".
Neighbors of Tiger Woods shared that before the accident, they heard Tiger's wife, Elin screaming, "You are nothing but a dog!"
Ironically, Tiger immediately ran into a fire hydrant.
Tiger Woods complained after being fined $174 for his accident Friday morning, saying that normally for driving into a water hazard and hitting a tree he should only receive one penalty stroke.
The first police officer on the scene assessed the situation, " It's apparent that the man on the ground was struck by this 7-iron three times on the face and that the same club was used on the three broken windows of this Escalade".
Elin said, "put me down for a four".
